Santa is an Idiot
Each year Whenever we feel like it, the Idiots Running Club hosts a gift exchange between members. It has never worked flawlessly but people still want to participate so we might as well continue the tradition of repeating the same dumb mistakes over and over and over and over and over.
The rules are simple and easy but extremely difficult.
Rule #1 - DON'T SUCK.
Rule #2 - DON'T SUCK.
RULE #3 - DON'T SUCK.
It's simply difficult and somebody will screw it up. Don't be the loser who signs up, gets cool swag but decides not to send something. If you're broke and can't afford a gift - just don't sign up. Seriously, DO NOT SIGN UP if you are a loser. Just go play in traffic and forget about us. We will be okay without you.
Fill out the form CORRECTLY. We will copy and paste directly from the form. If you screw up the mailing address - you won't get a gift. Well, you might get a gift eventually but why make is so freaking hard? Just double check before you hit submit.
We will send you all the information we receive from your Idiot. The Idiot you send to is NOT the Idiot you will receive from. We use a top secret algorithm stolen from an abandoned gas station restroom in Kansas (or maybe it was South Dakota) where really smart people used to sit around and write stuff on the walls. When you get the name - go shopping, get to crafting, hit the flea market, dig through dumpsters or whatever it is that you do to find cool gifts. Spend as much or as little as you want. Nobody cares about the dollar amount. If you want to buy them a new house - have fun. Just send something. DON'T SUCK.
Use the form below to play along. We will have two rounds this year.
Round One cutoff date will be Wednesday, November 22, 2023. This date was picked by an AI program that identifies the feelings and wants of all Idiots. Or it was just a random date we set based on nothing special.
Round Two cutoff date will be some random day in the future. We may or may not have a Round Three.
Send your gift as soon as you can. Don't wait. That makes people lose sight of the fun and become crazy. And stupid.
If you don't receive a gift within a reasonable amount of time - let us know through email or private messages. Don't lose sight of the fun and become an annoyance by posting vague, passive aggressive stupidity on the IRC facebook page. That will backfire on you. Every single time. You can send an email to our complaint department at [email protected] if you feel sad and stuff. Expect a response before Christmas 2124.
If you don't celebrate Christmas or the idea of a gift exchange offends you - Don't participate. Go bleach your eyes and wash away these words. They were not intended for you. Please refrain from ruining our fun because you want to be facebook famous for two minutes. Nobody cares.
If you love Christmas and enjoy GIVING gifts - play along and have fun.
If you just want to receive a gift but have zero intentions of sending one - go to the zoo and punch a lion in the face. We don't need you. We don't want you. We hope the best for you but we still don't like you.
Last thing - THIS IS NOT A SECRET SANTA. You can choose to make it anonymous if you want. That's awesome. Just remember that if you choose to go that route it will be impossible for your Idiot to tag you in a post that proclaims your awesomeness. Sometimes people do reveal their identity and still don't get the love. Let it go and remember this is about giving.
Just have fun. For real. It's okay to celebrate the season with other Idiots even if you don't agree on everything in life.